Dyatlov - CANCELED STORY

It's still dawn and i think all of us are ready. we have rechecked all the food supplies and i'm sure it's more than enough until we reach our destination. we've planned that we will reach Otorten not more than 12 February. 1-2 weeks walking trough the categories 3 mountain route -which is the most difficult track- , will be more than tough i guess. 

but despite of all challenge, hitch and fear that all of us felt, Igor Alekseievich Dyatlov, our hike group leader really looks calm, cool, independent and mature to us.. umm.. or maybe it's only me..? hehe whatever.. i have a heart to him tough..
um.. by the way, my name is ZInaida. im 22 this year, and for me, it's the best age to do a thousand of great extreme adventure. maybe this is also what all my teammates thought.  we're all about the same age and quite experienced in long ski tours and mountain expedition. this is our golden age.

CHANGE:

It's already dark and i think all of us are exhausted. i have rechecked all the food supplies and i'm sure it will still be enough until we reach our destination. we've planned that we will reach Otorten not more than 12 February. 3 days walked trough the categories 3 mountain route -which is the most difficult track- , is really more than tough. 

but despite of all challenge, hitch and fear that all of us felt, Igor Alekseievich Dyatlov, our hike group leader really looks calm, cool, independent and mature to us.. he really able to control the situation even we know we're lost in our way now..umm.. or maybe it's only me..? hehe whatever.. i have a heart to him tough..
um.. by the way, my name is ZInaida. im 22 this year, and for me, it's the best age to do a thousand of great extreme adventure. maybe this is also what all my teammates thought.  we're all about the same age and quite experienced in long ski tours and mountain expedition. this is our golden age.

i saw Dyatlov, trying to recheck and recheck where actually we are. but the little disappointment in his face that covered by the goggles, couldn't trick us about the fact that we have to prepare to stay  over night somewhere at this point. the weather also doesn't in it's cooperative condition for us. Rustem, Dyatlov best friend mention that we have to find a place to build out tent right away, because it's getting late and the weather going to be worsen. dyatlov agrees and in minutes we have build our tent.

UNFORTUNATELY MY IDEA GOT REJECTED. so this story is CANCELED.

A Story from A True Events

The True Events:


The Dyatlov Pass Incident
Genre: Horror, Science Fiction, Mystery.


Short Brief:

The Dyatlov Pass incident refers to an event that resulted in the deaths of nine ski hikers in the northern Ural mountains on the night of February 2, 1959. It happened on the east shoulder of the mountain Kholat Syakhl (Холат Сяхл) (a Mansi name, meaning Mountain of the Dead). The mountain pass where the incident occurred has since been named Dyatlov Pass (Перевал Дятлова) after the group's leader, Igor Dyatlov (Игорь Дятлов). The lack of eyewitnesses has inspired much speculation. Soviet investigators determined only that "a compelling unknown force" had caused the deaths. Access to the area was barred for skiers and other adventurers for three years after the incident. The chronology of the incident remains unclear due to the lack of survivors.

Investigators at the time determined that the hikers tore open their tent from within, departing barefoot into heavy snow and a temperature of −30°C. Though the corpses showed no signs of struggle, two victims had fractured skulls, two had broken ribs, and one was missing her tongue. Their clothing, when tested, was found to be highly radioactive.

Characters and Backgrounds:

A group was formed for a ski trek across the northern Urals in Sverdlovsk Oblast (Свердло́вская о́бласть). The group, led by Igor Dyatlov, consisted of eight men and two women. Most were students or graduates of Ural Polytechnical Institute (Уральский Политехнический Институт, УПИ), now Ural State Technical University:

1. Igor Alekseievich Dyatlov (Игорь Алексеевич Дятлов), the group's leader, born January 13, 1936
2. Zinaida Alekseievna Kolmogorova (Зинаида Алексеевна Колмогорова), born January 12, 1937
3. Ludmila Alexandrovna Dubinina (Людмила Александровна Дубинина), born January 11, 1936
4. Alexander Sereievich Kolevatov (Александр Сергеевич Колеватов), born November 16, 1934
5. Rustem Vladimirovich Slobodin (Рустем Владимирович Слободин), born January 11, 1936
6. Yuri Alexeievich Krivonischenko (Юрий Алексеевич Кривонищенко), born February 7, 1935
7. Yuri Nikolaievich Doroshenko (Юрий Николаевич Дорошенко), born January 12, 1938
8. Nicolai Vasilievich (Vladimirovich?) Tibo-Briniolle (Николай Васильевич (Владимирович?) Тибо-Бриньоль), born June 5, 1935
9. Alexander Alexandrovich Zolotariov (Александр Александрович Золотарёв), born February 2, 1921
10. Yuri Yefimovich Yudin (Юрий Ефимович Юдин), born 1937

The goal of the expedition was to reach Otorten (Отортен), a mountain 10 kilometers north of the site of the incident. This route, at that season, was estimated as "Category III", the most difficult. All members were experienced in long ski tours and mountain expeditions.

The group arrived by train at Ivdel (Ивдель), a city at the center of the northern province of Sverdlovsk Oblast on January 25. They then took a truck to Vizhai (Вижай) - the last inhabited settlement so far north. They started their march towards Otorten from Vizhai on January 27. The next day, one of the members (Yuri Yudin) was forced to go back because of illness. The group now consisted of nine people.

Diaries and cameras found around their last camp made it possible to track the group's route up to the day preceding the incident. On January 31, the group arrived at the edge of a highland area and began to prepare for climbing. In a woody valley they cached surplus food and equipment which would be used for the trip back. The following day (February 1), the hikers started to move through the pass. It seems they planned to get over the pass and make camp for the next night on the opposite side, but because of worsening weather conditions, snowstorms and decreasing visibility, they lost their direction and deviated west, upward towards the top of Kholat Syakhl. When they realized their mistake, the group decided to stop and set up camp there on the slope of the mountain.

Video Link:

It had been agreed beforehand that Dyatlov would send a telegraph to their sports club as soon as the group returned to Vizhai (Вижай). It was expected that this would happen no later than February 12, but when this date had passed and no messages had been received, there was no reaction—delays of a few days were common in such expeditions. Only after the relatives of the travelers demanded a rescue operation did the head of the institute send the first rescue groups, consisting of volunteer students and teachers, on February 20. Later, the army and police forces became involved, with planes and helicopters being ordered to join the rescue operation.

On February 26, the searchers found the abandoned tent on Kholat Syakhl. The tent was badly damaged. A chain of footprints could be followed, leading down towards the edge of nearby woods (on the opposite side of the pass, 1.5 km north-east), but after 500 meters they were covered with snow. At the forest edge, under a large old cedar, the searchers found the remains of a fire, along with the first two bodies, those of Yuri Krivonischenko and Yuri Doroshenko, shoeless and dressed only in their underwear. Between the cedar and the camp the searchers found three more corpses—Dyatlov, Zina Kolmogorova and Rustem Slobodin—who seemed to have died in poses suggesting that they were attempting to return to the tent. They were found separately at distances of 300, 480 and 630 meters from the cedar tree.

Searching for the remaining four travelers took more than two months. They were finally found on May 4, under four meters of snow, in a ravine in a stream valley further into the wood from the cedar tree.

Investigation:

A legal inquest had been started immediately after finding the first five bodies. A medical examination found no injuries which might have led to their deaths, and it was concluded that they had all died of hypothermia. One person had a small crack in his skull, but it was not thought to be a fatal wound.

An examination of the four bodies which were found in May changed the picture. Three of them had fatal injuries: the body of Thibeaux-Brignolle had major skull damage, and both Dubunina and Zolotarev had major chest fractures. According to Dr. Boris Vozrozhdenny, the force required to cause such damage would have been extremely high. He compared it to the force of a car crash. Notably, the bodies had no external wounds, as if they were crippled by a high level of pressure. One woman was found to be missing her tongue. There had initially been some speculation that the indigenous Mansi people might have attacked and murdered the group for encroaching upon their lands, but investigation indicated that the nature of their deaths did not support this thesis; the hikers' footprints alone were visible, and they showed no sign of hand-to-hand struggle.

Though the temperature was very low (around −25° to −30°C) with a storm blowing, the dead were dressed only partially. Some of them had only one shoe, while others had no shoes or wore only socks. Some were found wrapped in snips of ripped clothes which seemed to be cut from those who were already dead. However, up to 25 percent of hypothermia deaths are associated with so-called "Paradoxical undressing". This typically occurs during moderate to severe hypothermia, as the person becomes disoriented, confused, and combative. They may begin discarding their clothing, which, in turn, increases the rate of heat loss.

Journalists reporting on the available parts of the inquest files claim that it states:

• Six of the group members died of hypothermia and three of fatal injuries.
• There were no indications of other people nearby apart from the nine travelers on Kholat Syakhl, nor anyone in the surrounding areas.
• The tent had been ripped open from within.
• The victims had died 6 to 8 hours after their last meal.
• Traces from the camp showed that all group members left the camp of their own accord, on foot.
• To dispel the theory of an attack by the indigenous Mansi people, Dr. Boris Vozrozhdenny stated that the fatal injuries of the three bodies could not have been caused by another human being, "because the force of the blows had been too strong and no soft tissue had been damaged".
• Forensic radiation tests had shown high doses of radioactive contamination on the clothes of a few victims.

The final verdict was that the group members all died because of a "compelling unknown force". The inquest ceased officially in May 1959 due to the "absence of a guilty party". The files were sent to a secret archive, and the photocopies of the case became available only in the 1990s, with some parts missing.

Mind Your Language

Mind Your Language

One Sentence Summary:

Jeremy Brown a new Teacher that employed in an English Institution to teach English as a foreign language got a challenge from the college Principal be able to survive teaching a number of international students which each of the individual got problem with the other student caused by Accent, politics, and Nationality problems.

Characters:

1. Mr. Jeremy Brown, - The Teacher of the Class - British

2. Ms. Dolores Courtney - The Principal of the College - British

3. Ali Nadeem - Unemployed, The Students- Pakistan, Lahore

4. Giovanni Capello, - Chef, The Students - Italian

5. Anna Schmidt - Au pair, The Students - Germany

6. Chung Su-Lee - Secretary at Chinese Embassy, The Students - Chinese

7. Taro Nagazumi - Japanese Electronics representative, The Students - Japanese

8. Jamila Ranjha - Indian Housewife, The Students - India, Simla

9. Maximilian Andrea Archimedes Papandrious - Shipping office worker, The Students - Greek, Athens

10. Juan Cervantes - Bartender, The Students - Spanish

11. Ranjeet Singh - London Underground worker, The Students - India, Punjab

12. Danielle Favre - Au Pair, The Students - French

Character Bio:

1. Mr. Jeremy Brown

The English teacher in the college, he holds the B.A.from Oxford University. in most of the scene, he's the main character in this story or you could say he's the vocal point of it. before he up to the job, the principal of the college warn him about the teacher before him that goes insane because couldn't take the pressure from the class. Mr. Jeremy took the challenge and  tried his best to do his work. the thing is, after his first lesson he already felt the pressure from the students and warn himself not to got crazy by it.

2. Ms Dolores Courtney
She's the principal of the college, she's a very strict and cynical lady. she refuses the title Mrs when Mr. Brown called her because she haven't married. she's tight-fisted principal. she always think that women always could so something better than a man, that's why she thinks poorly of Mr. Brown and his abilities.

3. Ali Nadeem
Nadeem is a very nice student, he smiles all the time and have a quite good basic English, even though he still couldn't understand some complicated vocabulary, not pretty well with pronunciation and couldn't understand some question told by the teacher. he's unemployed guy and only took his dole every week for his survival supply. he's originated from Lahore, Pakistan and he grew up in Delhi.

4. Giovanni Capello
Giovanni is Italian , he work as a chef and one of the loudest in class. he have conflict wit Max in fight over Danielle. when shocked, stressed, or surprised he usually shout "Santa Maria" or "Holy Ravioli".

5. Anna Schmidt
She come from German, and really have a pro minded about her country. she prefer to "German Efficiency". she usually punctuates her sentence with German Words.

 6. Chung Su-Lee
a Chinese girl working as secretary at a Chinese Embassy, she has a very energetic, firm and active personality. she has quite good basic English but seen from her personality, i guess she still want to make her English become more perfect. that's why she entered that class.

 7. Taro Nagazumi
an aged man that works as a Japanese electronics representative. he had a reasonable command of English but his Japanese accent is still very strong. same as Su-Lee and Anna, he's also a very proud man for his country, Japan.

 8. Jamila Randja
Jamila come from india, she has a very terrible understanding of english (even it's like nothing she understand) she seen in the class with her knitting tools and hardly trying to speak to the teacher.

 9. Maximilian Andrea Archimedes Papandrious

Max is a Greek shipping office worker from Athens, same as Giovanni, he also have a very flirty eyes to Danielle, that's why in his first lesson he often fight with Giovanni trying to grab Danielle attention. same as the others, he also have a very heavy accent in his English conversation.

 10. Juan Cervantes

Spanish bartender, optimistic and powerful spirit shown from the way he talks. the thing is, he have the same level of English as Jamila. pathetic. the always says "por favor" (please) when he reply's the teacher's conversation because he doesn't know how to answer him at all. Luckily, Giovanni was there to help the teacher talks to him.

 11. Ranjeet Singh

he's a London Underground worker from India, Punjab. he says that he's a devout Sikh and hates Pakistani Muslim so much that's why he constantly argue with Ali Nadim. he has a good vocabulary and a very polite attitude to Mr Brown, the teacher.

  

 12. Danielle Favre

she's the Madonna of the class, Danielle is the prettiest, sexiest, and the most charming girl in that class. that's why almost all of the male student's get attracted to her, specially Giovanni and Max including Mr. Brown the teacher himself.

What makes a good story?

A good Story created from crisis condition minded, spontaneously thought and creative brainstorm. the theme and idea of the story could come from anywhere, anytime and from anybody. and trough all of those elements, comes couple characters that has most unique characteristic that's different from other stories, which attract reader to know them better and fall in love for them.

not only about the character, plot and story line also has the most important element of the story. story could be told without any characters, but there are no stories without plot and story line. what's happening? why? what will happened? what's the solving method for the problems?

So let's put all those element into the point
WHAT MAKES A GOOD STORY?
1. Motive
2. Conflict (Drama)
3. Quest
4. Turning Point
5. Climax
6. Resolution
7. Characters
8. Emotion

there are also some other important point when you want to make a good story, such as:

GENRES: with this element, you start planning about the target audience of your story, is is going to be horror story? action? adventure? or is it love story? you can even combine about 2 to 3 genre into one story depends with the way you've planed it.
BRAINSTORM: is the most important point about your story. make your story become more interesting with it, solve all the problem that you find wrong inside your story, twist it and plan it as well as possible.
1 SENTENCE PITCH: will become your attracting point of the story that you write. this is what will sell your story and make people reads about it.
and the last, 3ACT STRUCTURE: the way you plans your story needs to have some structure and planning. write it down in some graphic point so you will think it more easy and tidy.

These all items isn't all of the elements that makes story turn more interesting and perfect. there are more to be explore to make a better and better story. because just as same as Art, story also doesn't has any limit in the way you develop it.

So keep reading, writing, and LEARNING more about it if you want to make more and more great story.